DAY 23: Give up thinking you can be a “saviour” for BIPOC

Sometimes with those who consider themselves to be allies, lines get crossed. People start to speak about things that are outside their experience and poorly represent the positions of the people they are trying to support, and can even spread harmful and/or misinformation.

Allyship is about walking with someone, and especially when we think about nonviolent interventions, we want to centre the experience of the person who is receiving the harm and support them to have as much choice as possible. 

People of colour need choice more than they need to be saved. People of colour need to have a voice more than they need to be saved - they want to be liberated by the destructive system of oppressions. That journey is not about being saved - it’s about creating space to be human.

TIP: The best way I know to avoid slipping into the saviour side of things is to practice a way of expressing yourself that is part of nonviolent communication. When speaking, speak from your own experience. Talk about how you impacted, make requests that are about what you need to be different. For example, if at a conference table and someone makes a racist comment about a person of colour’s hair, you can say, “I’m not comfortable with you saying that. Will you keep your remarks about her to work and everyone else? Just so that we can keep the focus on the work. That would be a real help for me.”

There may be all kinds of things happening for the person of colour, and by intervening in this way, you are helping to set the stage for reducing the amount of harm and still staying in your lane. In all things, we invite you to think, “is my intervention creating choice for the person of colour?” If not, try something new.